Grieving the ungrieved grief
"Grief only exists where love first lived"
Grief moves into the house that love once occupied and cleans out anything not to cling to any longer. Then in her brutally fierce love, grief burns the rest of the house down, leaving you with nothing but yourself and her.
Grief is a loving reminder to let go completely and become present with all the pains of loss, fear and the unknown.
Grief is a very good friend that we thought was the enemy.
Grief is much like a bird with it’s wings clipped and stuck in a cage, we haven’t allowed it’s full expression to be known, to take flight in the human psyche.
When we suppress grief, it shape shifts into anger, resentment, frustration, bitterness, hopelessness, loneliness, numbness, distraction, depression and powerlessness.
Collectively, we need to grieve the beauty we have not been seeing in each other.
We need to grieve the age of being trapped in the mind.
We need to grieve our own inhibited expressions, our parents inhibited expressions.
We need to grieve what we have not felt, we need to grieve how powerless we have been in our not feeling.
Grief has become exclusive to a day, a week of sadness after losing a person or a pet.
Grief has many more colours than that.
Actually, we can grieve a version of ourselves we never got to fully express, we can grieve the times we spent worrying instead of loving, we can grieve however our grief chooses to grieve.
We can scream in rage at the lack of support our great-grandmothers endured and the unnecessary wars our great-grandfathers died in. We can grieve wars lashing out on the other side of the world in which we can do (almost) nothing to stop.
We can howl with grief at the cultural disappearances, the forests burning, we can grieve at how we treated ourselves dismally, grieve how we allowed people to walk over us, grieve how we didn’t treat others well when we had the chance, grieve the fields flooding because that is how far human love can spread - but has not been spreading. We can grieve our contraction, our closing off, our dismissal, our suppression, our numbness.
Not grieving. Not feeling. That is what is harmful.
Choosing not to look, is choosing not to feel.
Choosing not to feel, is choosing not to love.
We can grieve the lopsided expression of humanity that has lost its way into a world of separation.
We can only fall apart if we are separate and what keeps us separate is the numbness of not feeling things - not feeling grief.
We can only fall apart if we are separate.
When we are separate from ourselves, we only create more separation.
To grieve is to be completely connected to the Self that is powerful enough to feel that painful feeling run through our body, crashing wave after wave to feel through the whole way, the whole way, the whole way of natural loss, the whole way through the death nature that is in everything.
To feel grief is to be completely connected to the whole experience of life, if you feel grief, you are a warrior in a world of weakness. You are breaking free of a slavery of conditioning by feeling.
The inversion of freedom has been deeply and widely locked into our psyches - don't cry, get up, keep going, head down and don’t share too much.
In this plight for a relentless forward momentum of progress, we have been avoiding an accumulating painful past.
We are missing a great opportunity to remember and regain our power, to feel our way out of the darkness and come back into a reverence for the death nature that gives way to new life.
Grief opens us up. Grief cleans and washes our insides. Grief recalibrates our understanding of what really matters, it shocks us back into connection with whats alive and present and available.
If we learn to feel the depths of grief, we learn to feel what love really is. I don’t know how it works, but it does. I have seen it, felt it and known it intimately.
Let us bring love to our grief, so that grief can remind us how to love.